“We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we’ve already done.” — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned in my life is the importance of being undeniable. My father introduced this concept to me when I was in the seventh grade. I was playing in an intramural baseball game and, in a very close play, was called out at second base by the umpire. I thought I was safe and let the umpire know it. My dad, who was watching the game, didn’t like seeing his son argue with an umpire, no matter how briefly.
During the drive home, I complained about how the umpire was “blind” and how I should have been called safe. My dad, very calmly and deliberately, interrupted, “You didn’t deserve it.”
I have to admit I was more than a bit upset that my own father seemed to be taking the side of the ump. I said, “What do you mean I didn’t deserve it? I was safe and he called me out. I was right and he was wrong.”
“That may be,” my father replied, “but if it was that close, you didn’t deserve it. Next time, make sure there’s no doubt. Then you won’t have to worry about the umpire’s opinion — or his eyesight.”
Although I didn’t quite appreciate the power and scope of my dad’s lesson at the time, it has since impacted nearly every aspect of my life. Whenever I find myself challenged by a lack of appreciation or understanding from others, I ask myself, “Do I deserve it? Am I being undeniable?”
Take a moment to think about yourself at work, with your friends and in your home life. Are you being undeniable? Are you so courteous, respectful, intelligent, patient, competent, caring and loving that you can’t be denied? How often do you feel that others are blind to your efforts, your achievements or your wisdom?
As workers, bosses, employees, parents and family members, our success or happiness in many ways reflects how undeniable we are to others.
Thoughts About How to Be Undeniable
Undeniable caring can only be recognized as love and compassion; and more often than not, it will be reciprocated.
Undeniable communication is clear and concise; and more often than not, it will eliminate misunderstandings and unfulfilled expectations.
To be undeniable we must be consistent. We can’t be our best only when it’s easy or convenient.
To be undeniable we must be outstanding. It is impossible for a person to be outstanding, and go unnoticed.
To be undeniable is to be clear. We can’t be ambiguous. Ambiguity is the father of misunderstanding.
Think about it. Aren’t the truly customer-focused companies the ones that don’t need to spend millions on advertising just to tell us that they are customer focused? Aren’t the employees who truly work for the company rather than just at the company the same ones who get noticed and appreciated more by their employers and fellow employees? Aren’t the people in your life who show you they love you and care about you the ones you love and appreciate the most?
When we’re truly undeniable, it’s difficult for others to misinterpret, misunderstand or mistreat us. As I look back on that childhood baseball game, I’m glad I was called out at second base. Although my dad is no longer with us, thinking back, I’m even more glad that I had a father whose love for me has always been undeniable.